How to cope with lockdown isolation – from someone with cancer who’s been there before

Looking after our mental health during lockdown isolation can be really challenging. Here are my top 10 tips for coping – learned from 15 years with chronic cancer.

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Covid-19 has introduced lockdown isolation to millions of people around the world. For many people, this is the first time they’ve experienced something like this – not being able to go out to see family and friends, not being able to travel, and missing out on so many ‘normal’ things. It’s incredibly difficult to cope with lockdown isolation and it can have a really negative impact on our mental health.

But for those of us who have been living with chronic illness, lockdown isolation isn’t new. We’ve been living like this for many months, often many years. I was diagnosed with chronic lymphoma, a type of chronic cancer, 15 years ago when I was 13 years old. I’ve had so many times in my life when I’ve been isolated and it’s felt like I’ve been living under a lockdown because of the lymphoma and treatment side effects. So I’ve learnt a few things about how to cope with lockdown isolation. Here are some of the tips I’ve learnt from 15 years with chronic cancer.

1. Leave the house every other day (at a minimum)

One of my rules when I’ve been ill and housebound is that I have to leave the house every other day, at a minimum. I’ve found this to be really helpful, as too many days inside can make you feel even more low and lethargic, and it’s definitely one of my top tips for how to cope with lockdown isolation.

I’ve also found that spending too many days inside can cause me to have anxiety about going outside – it makes going outside feel like a scary thing, like it’s a big deal, and that’s never a healthy place to be in mentally. So making a rule to go out every other day avoids the issue of anxiety about going outside. You don’t have to go far, it can just be a short walk around the block, but just getting out to see a bit of the world and getting some fresh air can be hugely beneficial.

2. It’s ok to not be super productive

Since the first lockdown began in 2020, I feel like every week (or more) I’ve been seeing stories about these super productive people in lockdown. This person who’s written 18 novels while volunteering 18 hours a day for a charity. Or this other person who’s run 12 marathons in 3 months and had a reawakening about their true purpose in life and reached an enlightened version of themselves.

And then there’s me, slouched on the sofa with three blankets, surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers, and even Netflix is asking if I’m still alive.

We’re in a pandemic. You don’t have to be achieving all of your life goals this year. It’s ok to just be surviving.

I learnt this the hard way when I was on chemotherapy when I was younger. At first, I was trying to keep up with everyone else and keep on achieving things, but I quickly realised that wasn’t a healthy way of thinking.

When something major interrupts your life, like this pandemic has, you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to other people’s achievements. Everyone deals with things differently, and it’s ok to accept that and deal with things your way. If you want to sit on the sofa all day instead of run a marathon, that’s fine. Your life and your ways of coping are suited to you, and are just as valid as anyone else’s. Don’t feel pressured to be ‘making the most of this year’ and trying to find positives if that isn’t helpful for you. Sometimes, it’s enough to just get through the day.

3. Limit your exposure to Covid news

It’s important to stay up to date with the latest news, especially when the rules and regulations about what we’re allowed to do keeps changing. But watching the news too often can really increase anxiety and negative feelings. It’s a scary world out there, and it’s ok to sometimes shut yourself off from the world and take a break from the news.

I’ve also found that reading the news causes less anxiety for me than watching it on TV. I’ve stopped myself watching the (very frequent) TV news conferences about Covid because they seem so dramatic and make me really anxious and scared about going outside. I cope a lot better with reading the news online instead, and it’s one of the things I’ve found helps me to cope with lockdown isolation.

4. Stay connected with friends/family – sometimes

It’s important to stay connected with your friends and family, even when you can’t see people in person. Technology has made it easy for us to stay in touch in the pandemic, and social media is full of people doing Zoom quizzes and having online parties.

But it’s ok to not do that all the time. I find socialising online exhausting – so much more tiring than seeing people face to face. There’s no way I’d have the energy for a Zoom call every evening. And it’s ok to say no to some of the online social events. Just because some people are shouting on social media about their active online social life, that doesn’t mean you need to feel like you have to do the same.

If socialising helps you, then that’s great and you can do it loads. But it’s ok not to watch your parents eat their dinner on Zoom every night and just watch Netflix instead. Again, it’s just about finding the balance that works for you and not feeling pressured to do more than you actually want.

5. Go for walks in nature

The number one piece of mental health advice seems to be to go out for a walk. I’ll be the first to admit that a walk doesn’t help everything, but I really do think it does help. I find walks in the countryside especially helpful, as I love seeing open views and breathing in the fresh air.

Walks in the countryside also help me appreciate the beauty of my local scenery now it’s not possible to travel abroad. I miss travelling hugely, but discovering new places near home does help a bit. When I’ve been too ill to travel I’ve fallen back on this as well, and it does help. Walking in nature is definitely one of my top ways to cope with lockdown isolation.

If you live near Oxford or Aylesbury in the UK, you can find a list of some great walks in the nearby countryside on my other blog posts.

6. Hobbies

As well as walking outside, it’s also good to find an indoor hobby you can enjoy. It could be something creative, like learning a musical instrument, or doing jigsaw puzzles, or art, or anything at all that you enjoy. Just something you can do for a short time to take your mind off things. You don’t have to become an expert in your hobby – like I’ve said above, there’s no pressure to be super productive and come out of lockdown as a new concert pianist. But just having something you enjoy can really help pass the time when you’re isolated from chronic illness or from Covid-19 lockdowns.

And yes, watching Netflix or other TV counts as a hobby.

7. Appreciate the small things and take notice 

This has been one of my most important coping mechanisms I’ve learnt over the years, and it’s definitely been useful in the last year during lockdowns. I try to be present and really take notice of the small things in life, and to find pleasure in them. I savour a mouthful of chocolate, really focussing on the taste. If there’s an interesting cloud formation in the sky or a sunset, I stop to look and appreciate the beauty. In the winter, I hold my cup of tea and enjoy the warmth on my hands. I appreciate watching the birds outside my window.

All these things are so mundane, so ordinary, and so easy to overlook. But just taking a minute to stop and appreciate them can really help me. It reminds me that there is so much joy and beauty in this world. Our planet really is an amazing place, and even though it might be a bit scary right now, there is still beauty to be found. We just sometimes might need to look a bit harder for it.

8. Accept bad days 

It’s ok to not be ok. When we’re dealing with a major change in our life, such as a global pandemic, it’s ok to not feel great about it everyday. And it’s ok to have some days where you don’t really achieve a lot and just survive. I’m so hard on myself and always push myself too much, so this is something I frequently have to remind myself. Reminding myself of this can really help me cope with lockdown isolation.

9. Find the balance

It’s ok to not be ok and it’s ok to not be productive sometimes. But, as with so many things in life, finding the balance is key. If you’re feeling not ok most days, or if you’re going for days or weeks where you can’t bring yourself to do anything, then that can be a sign that you need a bit of extra help.

It’s all about finding the right balance that works for you, and it can be different for different people. Be kind to yourself and let yourself have some down days, but don’t let it take over your life and get in the way of more positive actions like enjoying a hobby or taking a walk.

10. Accept and ask for help 

So many people in the world are finding things difficult right now. It really is a difficult time. We all need as much help and support as we can get. And it’s ok to ask other people for help. And it’s ok to accept help.

You’re not being a burden on anyone if you ask for help. I used to struggle so much asking other people for help, but then I realised something. If someone else asks me for help, I feel honoured to have been asked; I feel grateful that my friend has chosen me to confide in and show trust and friendship to ask for help. It actually helps me feel really good about myself if I can help someone else. So maybe, if I ask someone else for help, I might actually be making them feel good as well and not being a burden at all.

So ask people for help. Connect and support each other. And just be kind.

If you’d like to learn more about experiencing lockdown with chronic illness, read my blog here. Or read more tips about looking after your mental heath during lockdown.

If you’re struggling with isolation, it’s ok to reach out for help. You can contact the charity Mind or the Samaritans for help and support. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to reach out for support.